it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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