i barfeds in our rink
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
