just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
