So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
