Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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