I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
