Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
