just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
