hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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