i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
