Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
