It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Pants are for mortals
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
