All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how does that bad decision feel?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
