all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
