Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
