I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
