tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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