I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
