I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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