return my video game
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
