i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
