Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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