too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
