I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
