can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
