Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
