i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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