i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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