your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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