Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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