it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
