I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
