please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
