I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
