her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
