Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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