I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
