I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You may now shotgun with the bride
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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