...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
