if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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