Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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