Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
