I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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