my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
