$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
try to milk me bitch
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