I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
