Dual....:-)
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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