I wanna passion pit in your ass
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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