remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
