So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
