He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
