dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
