dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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