and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
