That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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