were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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